my last day at my job was today. its finally here. its an odd feeling really. its as if i never thought it would happen, not sure i wanted it to happen---then got really excited for it to happen--and now its real.
i'm excited to get to spend time with you girlies, to get to go on adventures, and eat ice cream, and slide down slides, and summersault, and explore, pick flowers, plant new flowers....be there for every bandaid, and tantrum, snack and nap. i wont have to rush to get out the door in the mornings, worry i've left you too quickly, when you both have just woken up and are the most snuggly things in the world....our mornings will have more time for braids and dress up, teeth brushing (i MUST get this into our routine), wardrobe changes and fights about those wardrobe changes (stella for you this means the fight to get you OUT of your hello kitty tutu outfit you have worn day in and day out for at least 2 weeks now! at least so i can wash it :) ). i'll get to experience all the funny stories, all those great one-liners, i get to hear about after the fact and instead, get to be a part of them. i'll also get to experience all the breakdowns (ohhhh the breakdowns), the upsets and the tears (my patience level is a constant work in progress). i'm very excited about what tomorrow will bring. and the next day...and the next day. i feel like the world is our oyster at the moment. honestly, its been awhile since i've felt like this. its kind of like that feeling you get the first day of summer vacation (once you start school, you'll understand), only better because it feels permanent. its hard for me to even say that out loud, lest i jinx myself.
its funny to feel this way now because at the onset of this whole quitting debacle, i thought i wouldnt be happy staying home. it just wasnt something i ever saw myself doing. funny how life changes everything. its like the exact moment you think you know something, you realize that you have no idea about anything. its fun though. scary and fun. you girls make it fun. i'm so happy to have you. i hope i can be a good mom to you. maybe thats part of my fear of staying home....now, on those difficult days, i have no excuses for bad behavior/tantrums/general off-ness, you are my sole job. this is THE first time in my life i've had one focus. i'm so glad its you.
xo
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hello kitty + tutus + a wagon full of bunnies. what more could a girl want?
(this is the outfit i spoke of above) |
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| lady jane walking around the table. |
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| a closet debacle |
